Playing Dress-Up: Does it Get Easier?

Dressing for the weather. Dressing for your shape. Dressing for your age. Dressing for your job. Dressing for your partner. Dressing to conform.

But dressing for you....when does that start? 

We all have a personal style that we endeavour daily to inject in to all of the above scenarios, to in some way, shape or form to express our individuality & personal taste. Even if you're forced to wear some ungodly uniform at work that you positively detest  (I remember my McD's days well. That 'Lobby-jobby' outfit was so fetch!), you find (sometimes unconsciously) a way of making it more you, putting out your message to the world. Roll up the sleeves, tuck in the shirt, wear the trousers low slung, accessorise...if 'the man' makes you where a suit when you ain't a suit kinda dude, you make it work for you. Point is if we were all to put on the exact same outfit, we'd be sure to wear it differently, purposely or without even thinking about it . So when we get to choose what we wear, it gets a whole lot more complicated....well for me anyway! 

Working out what your personal style is (what I'm now discovering) a lifelong quest. My style has evolved so much from the first days of being allowed to dress myself, selecting outfits from my wardrobe & to then later being given the opportunity to shop for clothes by myself. My personal styling has gone through so many transitions. Moments of the good, the bad & the ugly! 

Going back to my opening statements, I think that many of these are really about what we think others expect of us.  I won't wear that dress as it's 'too young for me'. Who says?!?! When we reach around 12 years old clothes no longer are sized in relation to our age but our clothing size, so who then decides what's too young & indeed too old for us to wear?!? Shouldn't it be, if you want to wear the dress just go for it?! 'Yes of course!' I hear you say....but then, do you dress like that? Toss any concerns for what society might think of you & wear exactly what you want to? Hats off to you if you genuinely don't give a monkey's..but I reckon, like myself,  many of us, consciously and even unconsciously, dress with others in mind. 

Miss Monroe famously said 'Give a girl the right shoes & she'll conquer the world'. Which ones though?  Is it the flat, comfy ones we can walk in all day that ain't nowt to shout about  in the style department or is it those 'killer' heels that actually do kill after 20 mins but  knock 'em dead everywhere you go?! Conquering the world may require you to wear both actually....at the same time perhaps? One on each foot it is then?!  At the ripe old age of 32, I'm having a bit of a style overhaul that came unexpectedly. My clothing choices have taken a bit of a U-turn recently & I can't quite work out why   frustratingly. I can't figure out if what I'm opting for looks good on me or whether I'm choosing more for comfort & practicality. If both bases are being covered then great! Can I look AND feel good at the same time? I have more staple pieces in my wardrobe now that I rotate & pair up with each other in various random combos. I'm totally over buying 'in trend' and just want to own more of a capsule wardrobe that will see me through the seasons effortlessly. I ADORE fashion but don't particularly enjoy shopping for myself (I'd love to shop for others) so I now realise (after years of buying tonnes of stuff on a whim & then not wearing it) that I need to be super selective with what goes in that on-line shopping basket. I also think it's a sign of the times where a disposable income is a thing of the distant past for many of us and you choose far more carefully about what you're buying as you'd rather it costed a bit more but lasted you way longer than the £10 top that you'll wear once and then see it banished to the back of your wardrobe or the charity shop. I guess if you're looking to conquer the world as Marilyn so eloquently pointed out, whether you opt for the flats or the heels, you'd be best to choose the more classic pair that will last you a long while.....as you continue on you path for world domination.

I don't think I've always been one to dress with others in mind, it may just be something that has derived from being in a long-term relationship. As a teenager I didn't rebel or reject the trends of the time more so than I just tended to wear what I liked, despite it being so far removed from what was 'cool'. Long gypsy skirts, Doc Martins and other bohemian attire was my go-to style and then on to my uni days, it was bell bottom jeans, fitted shirts and tees....again it was what I wanted to wear over what I thought I should to fit in.  As I then went out in to the working world as a dance teacher, in my down time I tended to dress up more, as I felt I was spending my life in joggers and baggies. I actually remember hubby (before he was my hubby)saying to me that I didn't need to be so dressy when I came to visit him...but to me making an effort was something I was doing more for myself than him....or at least I think it was. He was happy to see me in what he thought I'd be more comfortable in but really I was looking to enjoy that process of getting dressed-up and feeling girly and sexy. Of course if your partner compliments you in something then you may wear it when you know you'll be spending time together...their opinion matters to you and it's nice when they say they like you in something. I know that nowadays I frequently dress with hubby in mind, hoping he'll like my outfit. Deep down I actually do know that if I'm wearing what I like and what I feel comfortable and confident in then that's what he's going to prefer me in but somehow I often still think of what his opinion will be about my choice. I mean I'd never expect him to wear a 3 piece suit on the weekends to impress me when I know he'd hate every minute of it and I know he's the same with me but it doesn't stop me thinking of what he'll find me attractive in. Funny eh? Our brains are often programmed in this modern-day society to be concerned with others' perception of us over satisfying our own inner desires and comfort zones. I'm just grateful that more often than not I've really only got myself and hubby in mind when I'm dressing .....not society as well! 

       

So with personal style, although it evolves overtime and you may at points be 'on trend' and other times be totally 'uncool' in your selections, I think what's most important is that you aim to dress happily. Happy dressing should be made compulsory and this idea of wearing 'what's in' or what someone your age should be wearing must be phased out. After all, Oscar de la Renta and Karl Lagerfeld get to design exactly what they like. They don't create dresses that they hate but know are 'cool' for that year. They let their own creative juices flow and have garments made that evoke their personal style and taste. So in turn we as consumers in society should have free reign to wear what we want free from judgement. It's hard enough figuring out what your personal style is never mind then having to worry if other people will like it or think that it's too young, short, frumpy, fancy etc etc for you. Just wear what you want goddamnit!  I wish I could say this to every young girl and boy I come across who is feverishly trying to keep up with the 'in-crowd' and the latest fashion trend. I see a lot of them wearing stuff that I bet they don't even like that much but are buying it (or pleading with mum or dad to buy it!) because they 'have to have it' . I love fashion and religiously buy fashion magazines but I buy them for inspiration, to spark my imagination not to look at the Spring/Summer collections and worry that I'm not wearing anything like it. Yes, I'm still over here scratching my head, figuring out what my personal style actually is but at least I'm not too concerned about whether Joe Bloggs likes it or not!  

Over and out, 

W x